My Valentine:1000 Gifts

Who would have guessed at 19, I could have possibly chosen this amazing man and taken this crazy, wild, wonderful ride. I was a child when I married you, and you were ever so patient with your new bride. The first years were filled with incredible love and lots of kinks that needed to be worked out, and you were a man after God's heart and loved me that way. Always the last to raise his voice, the last to say the unkind words, the first to say sorry. I have been more than blessed to be your wife and love you more now than ever. After three years, you blessed me with our Kathryn on this day, and as I sit here and look at her, I am so grateful you asked me to be your wife. Our journey has taken us away from family, away from all that is comfortable, but with you I feel safe and warm and welcome, and I know God has a plan to take this little family and make something great for His glory. I am ready to hang on and continue this ride for as long as He will allow. So...today as my list continues, I remember all the graces that God has given me.....


Gifts # 114-#131:

breath
mountatins
Fresh baked banana bread
Reservations made for a weekend away
Watching the tram climb the mountain from my kitchen window
Extending family back home-praying for grace in the midst of great struggle
24 hours away with my love
A clean house
Superbowl parties
Friends
Robitussin
Slow Days
Tea
A busy 4 year old
Party planning
Early morning guitar practice
Red Bull !!!!!
Thanks, Grace, Joy: The triple threat to my melancholy
My husband

Christmas Cookies:Gracie

Lately, all that has been on my mind is all the missed opportunities with my family; all the times I should have and could have spent time and said "yes" while I was cleaning or stressing. So, when Gracie asked to make cookies with just me, I said yes!







With a happy heart, she helped clean up to.

Gracie's First Real Hair Cut

My girl getting her first "real" hair cut! She was so excited!!

The Birthday Party

A few snapshots of my girl's 4th birthday....

Gracie Girl

It's about to be my Gracie's 4th birthday!!! Four years have passed since this sweet child graced our lives. When we decided to have another baby, little did we know what God had in store for us!

I became pregnant pretty quickly and we were all so excited about it. But that baby is not the baby we later would come to know. This one went to be with Jesus too soon. My fears grew as to how I would ever be able to love another baby as much as a mama should. But God knows. We all grieved for a long time and still grieve. But God gives grace and life goes on, and I became pregnant again and this time God blessed us with Grace. Not only did he bless us with a beautiful baby girl, but He blessed us with the GRACE that is His Gospel. I knew within hours of finding out she was a girl what her name was going to be.

Backing up a bit....the year that I miscarried was a tragic one. Not only for me, but for the entire O'Halloran family. Soon after I lost our precious gift, my nephew lost his mama. There was so much grief and fear. But it is through these kind of trials that God appears with grace. I learned more that year than I ever thought I could. So much deep in my heart, I still can't seem to find words to express. So forgive me if I sound vague. One of the things God showed me was that in this life, what we deserve is death, sadness, tragedy....sin is the source of this truth. But, even through these things, as God's children, He does not allow these things to take us. Even on the death bed, God can reach to the very soul and call that child home. Sin caused death, but God's grace says, "No...this one is mine." That is GRACE. Even through the tragedy of losing a precious child, God's grace says, "It's ok...I have big plans for you. This one is mine." His will always wins out over our sin and our choices. That is GRACE. He is God, not us! Not our choices, not our sin. HE IS. This is Grace. So when I realized that because of my absolute depravity, that I didn't even deserve the joy that a mama feels with her children....yet HIS GRACE says, "You are mine! Here is my gift to you." And Grace came into our lives.

She has blessed me as a mama in ways I can't put into words. When I look at her I am reminded of the precious gift of His grace in my life. I now understand the Gospel. I now understand what it means to be His child and there is freedom. This precious girl has been a part of a journey for me. God's grace reached to me when I was still dead in my sin and called me to life. I could not have chosen this for myself, He did it for me. Thanks be to God for His grace!

Happy Birthday Gracie Girl.....we love you!

Life:1000 Gifts

I have been thinking about why I haven't posted much these days, and the only answer I could come up with, the painfully honest answer, I am too ugly inside to post things beautiful. I love to write about beautiful things; things of God and family and life, and lately I have not been feeling the way I think I need to feel in order to write. Maybe I am a little melodramatic, which of course I have been told I am, but as I have pondered this over the last week, this is the ugly truth. I am ugly inside. My constant failures and constant disdain for disorder and chaos make my mouth and heart ugly. And my ever faithful and constant God has reminded me that this alone is the reason I needed a rescue. Gracie and I have been reading The Jesus Storybook Bible lately. This children's Bible storybook has brought these adult eyes to tears on a nightly basis. Beautifully written, it recounts the entire Bible and brings the central message of the entire Bible, that of a needed rescue, to life. In the story of Adam and Eve, the beginning of our ugliness, Sally Lloyd-Jones says it like this, " But before they left the garden, God make clothes for his children, to cover them. He gently clothed them and then sent them away on a long, long journey-out of the garden, out of their home. Well, in another story, it would all be over and that would have been....THE END. But not in this story. God loved his children too much to let the story end there. Even though he knew he would suffer, God had a plan-a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his children back. One day, he would make their perfect home again. And one day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes. You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children--with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love. And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God's children would miss him always, and long for him-lost children yearning for their home. Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: "It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I'm going to do battle against the snake. I'll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I'm coming back for you!" And he would. One day, God himself would come."

I thank God on this Monday, for rescuing me. He has already won my battles and all I have to do is rest in his grace. His grace, his grace envelopes me today and his grace is what takes the ugly and makes it beautiful, and I am thankful....my list goes on....

0071-finding his treasures of a home left behind

0072-still desiring to learn long after our homeschooling adventure ends

0073-little hands working on her letter book

0074-little fingers

0075-getting pictures of my nephew and his loves

0076-my brave boy

0077-small casts filled with names of those who care

0078-the constant sunshine and get well balloons

0079-a daughter who loves and cares for her brother

0080-a husband home safely

0081-new friends to lean on when crisis falls (thank you Frazer family!)

0082-the love of family felt through the phone lines

0083-last week of school

0084-my Jesus, whose death on the cross provided us with the greatest rescue my heart could ever hope for.

0085-and His grace that carries us through this life of pain and ugliness

0086-the hope that one day, all things will be made beautiful

My list will go on despite the ugly....this is the beauty of a life secure in His grace.

Being Encouraged:1000 Gifts

The house is quiet. Too quiet. It seems as though we have had family and friends come through our doors as if we never left. That season seemingly has come to a close, for now. Our hearts overflow with joyous memories and with sadness. The sky here in Albuquerque seems to agree. But, as I look at all the pictures of all the loved ones who have come to visit us here and help us explore our new surroundings, I can't help but be filled with gratitude toward the One who has given us all these precious ones to love. He has surely ordained our steps and continues to guide our ways as we take a few more steps in this Great Adventure. So, as a cloudy and cold Monday rolls around, my Gratitude List continues.....

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a diligent & faithful husband

0046

a peaceful home

0047

a restful Monday

0048

two little ones loving each other

0049

our three visitors

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family and friends for life

0051

exploring a new state

0052

family

0053

being strengthened and encouraged this weekend

"You then, my child, be strengthened by the GRACE that is in Christ Jesus....." II Timothy 2:1a

My Heart IS Thankful:1000 Gifts

I have not been very faithful to keep this practice going! Will I ever learn how much my heart is blessed (not to mention God's) when I practice the art of being thankful. So, my list goes on.....

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a new day and a new week. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion', says my soul, therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:27

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my first girl

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my first girl's laughter with girlfriends

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cheers of my boy with friends over a victorious Wii game

0041

little girl's childish accent

0042

double date over tapas

0043

finding old friends

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Papa, Grand-Sheri & Mama June's coming visit

" And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name." 1 Chronicles 29:13

Stillness

God's Word says to "Be Still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) These words have haunted me over the past few years. I think I am just beginning to grasp their meaning. He says following this that He will be exalted in the earth. So, why do I strive? We have just returned from a very special time with our family back east. Both Michael and I wondered how we would feel going back after just a few months away. A flood of emotions came as we drove from Reagan National. Washington DC is a beautiful city, especially covered in winter's snow. Driving through Potomac and seeing all our old haunts made me thoughtful. How much we have missed our life here, our friends, our family. We had such a precious time with all of them. Our kids were encouraged by spending time with their friends, and in the many late nights filled with laughter with their cousins. That encouraged my soul. Not much sleep, but much joy! And, in the blackness of the late nights, Michael and I would ask each other how we felt coming back. Did we do the right thing? Do we miss being here? I think in the stress of moving and trying to unpack and get kids settled, I had lost some of the vision of why we moved. I started to question everything, and I know Michael felt the same.

To live in the DC area means to be in a constant state of movement! It means, for us, losing sight of family and faith. Schedules, schedules, schedules. Work, work, work. God had been doing a quiet work in our hearts for many years. Preparing us for something we knew was eminent. Moving away from the rat race. God had surly blessed the work of Michael's hands and blessed us with an abundance of family, but our own little family was struggling to hold on. Not to mention, Michael's God given dreams were being forgotten. All of these things though, in God's amazing grace, were tools for us. We had learned so much, enough at this point to be able to make the decision to move. And God is still blessing us. Our family unit is strong. Michael is happy doing what God had created him to do. And, I feel still and quiet, a feeling I was afraid of for so long and now I cherish. Life is good, as the slogan says. We are living in the will of God. We don't know how God will work the rest out, but for this moment, we are at peace. I thank God for His words, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." All this life is for His glory, for Him to be exalted.

Thorns:1000 Gifts

'L
ife without thankfulness is devoid of love and passion.

Hope without thankfulness is lacking in fine perception.

Faith without thankfulness lacks strength and fortitude.

Every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road."

-John Henry Jowett

I have copied this quote from one of my absolute favorite blogs A Holy Experience. Ann Voskamp has continued to encourage me and to challenge my often ungrateful view on life. This unfortunate thorn has not only caused me to be unkind and selfish toward my family, but it has also forced me to my knees in repentance. It is these kinds of "thorns in the flesh" I am grateful for today. Little reminders of my need for a Savior. And believe me, I have quite a few!!! Not only spiritual in nature, but the physical as well. I thank God for these today as I reflect on the past couple of weeks. I thank God for His grace that continually calls me home.

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Thorns in the flesh

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God's continued grace

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Continued blessing at school

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Being able to fly home for Christmas

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Christmas cookies

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My husband

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My children

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The Advent of our Lord and Savior

More Change:1000 Gifts

The last few months have been months of constant change. We are not a family who has taken to this altogether well. We have sold our house, left our family and friends behind for the first time, moved 2000 miles away with no job, no school, no church; just a God who is faithful to provide all of these needs for us by His grace. Sometimes, this takes more time than we want! In leaving, our kids begged us to keep them home for school. They have had the blessing of the most wonderful experience we could have ever hoped for at The Fourth Presbyterian School. That little community helped shape our little family more than they will ever realize. A lot of healing after many forms of crisis, many lifelong friendships were formed there, and so much growth in all of us. Along with Fourth Church, our family will never be the same, and for that, we are truly thankful. But....God has a plan and it doesn't involve Fourth Church. So, we follow the call and we live by faith. This is a lesson my kids are having to learn in a very hard way. Needless to say, we obliged the children's wishes and went ahead and started homeschooling. For all you homeschool moms, I applaud you! This is NO easy task. Especially when you have a 4th grader and 2nd grader who have always gone to school, and with a 3 year old at home! Six weeks into this venture, after many days full of tears, discipline, and fighting we have decided that our kids have been asked to change too much all at once. Even they will tell you that they miss other kids throughout the day and the challenge of making the grade for a teacher (who is not mom)! So, through much prayer, many tears and hearts fighting regret, they were off to school this morning. We are so thankful to find a school with a Christian based education, wonderful teachers and very close to home. Please continue to pray that these precious little ones will see God's hand of grace on their lives throughout all this change going on.

As another Monday comes around, I find my heart full of thanks to a God who is faithful in all the little things in life. My list continues....

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Thanksgiving with family

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Our Fourth Church family (who is very missed)

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A new school

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Brave children

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A quiet house

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Decorated Christmas tree

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God's amazing grace

Our Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to remember all that God has blessed us with. A time to remember what His grace did for us. And because of His incredible grace, we were blessed indeed this Thanksgiving. Michael's family came in from Maryland and spent 6 days with us. We had very full days with lots of joy and laughter, good food and great company. Here are a few highlights of our incredible week....

Our first day, we went to the park...

Family....

Trying on hats in Old Town...

The tram to Sandia Peak...

The view from the top...

Kathleen, Grace, Kathryn & myself

The city lights...

Mountain top dinner...

Rudy's BBQ baby....

An evening Santa Fe stoll...

Relaxing at the St. Francis...

Kathryn loving her daddy....

A gift from Grand-Sheri....