Stillness

God's Word says to "Be Still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) These words have haunted me over the past few years. I think I am just beginning to grasp their meaning. He says following this that He will be exalted in the earth. So, why do I strive? We have just returned from a very special time with our family back east. Both Michael and I wondered how we would feel going back after just a few months away. A flood of emotions came as we drove from Reagan National. Washington DC is a beautiful city, especially covered in winter's snow. Driving through Potomac and seeing all our old haunts made me thoughtful. How much we have missed our life here, our friends, our family. We had such a precious time with all of them. Our kids were encouraged by spending time with their friends, and in the many late nights filled with laughter with their cousins. That encouraged my soul. Not much sleep, but much joy! And, in the blackness of the late nights, Michael and I would ask each other how we felt coming back. Did we do the right thing? Do we miss being here? I think in the stress of moving and trying to unpack and get kids settled, I had lost some of the vision of why we moved. I started to question everything, and I know Michael felt the same.

To live in the DC area means to be in a constant state of movement! It means, for us, losing sight of family and faith. Schedules, schedules, schedules. Work, work, work. God had been doing a quiet work in our hearts for many years. Preparing us for something we knew was eminent. Moving away from the rat race. God had surly blessed the work of Michael's hands and blessed us with an abundance of family, but our own little family was struggling to hold on. Not to mention, Michael's God given dreams were being forgotten. All of these things though, in God's amazing grace, were tools for us. We had learned so much, enough at this point to be able to make the decision to move. And God is still blessing us. Our family unit is strong. Michael is happy doing what God had created him to do. And, I feel still and quiet, a feeling I was afraid of for so long and now I cherish. Life is good, as the slogan says. We are living in the will of God. We don't know how God will work the rest out, but for this moment, we are at peace. I thank God for His words, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." All this life is for His glory, for Him to be exalted.

Thorns:1000 Gifts

'L
ife without thankfulness is devoid of love and passion.

Hope without thankfulness is lacking in fine perception.

Faith without thankfulness lacks strength and fortitude.

Every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road."

-John Henry Jowett

I have copied this quote from one of my absolute favorite blogs A Holy Experience. Ann Voskamp has continued to encourage me and to challenge my often ungrateful view on life. This unfortunate thorn has not only caused me to be unkind and selfish toward my family, but it has also forced me to my knees in repentance. It is these kinds of "thorns in the flesh" I am grateful for today. Little reminders of my need for a Savior. And believe me, I have quite a few!!! Not only spiritual in nature, but the physical as well. I thank God for these today as I reflect on the past couple of weeks. I thank God for His grace that continually calls me home.

0029

Thorns in the flesh

0030

God's continued grace

0031

Continued blessing at school

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Being able to fly home for Christmas

0033

Christmas cookies

0034

My husband

0035

My children

0036

The Advent of our Lord and Savior

More Change:1000 Gifts

The last few months have been months of constant change. We are not a family who has taken to this altogether well. We have sold our house, left our family and friends behind for the first time, moved 2000 miles away with no job, no school, no church; just a God who is faithful to provide all of these needs for us by His grace. Sometimes, this takes more time than we want! In leaving, our kids begged us to keep them home for school. They have had the blessing of the most wonderful experience we could have ever hoped for at The Fourth Presbyterian School. That little community helped shape our little family more than they will ever realize. A lot of healing after many forms of crisis, many lifelong friendships were formed there, and so much growth in all of us. Along with Fourth Church, our family will never be the same, and for that, we are truly thankful. But....God has a plan and it doesn't involve Fourth Church. So, we follow the call and we live by faith. This is a lesson my kids are having to learn in a very hard way. Needless to say, we obliged the children's wishes and went ahead and started homeschooling. For all you homeschool moms, I applaud you! This is NO easy task. Especially when you have a 4th grader and 2nd grader who have always gone to school, and with a 3 year old at home! Six weeks into this venture, after many days full of tears, discipline, and fighting we have decided that our kids have been asked to change too much all at once. Even they will tell you that they miss other kids throughout the day and the challenge of making the grade for a teacher (who is not mom)! So, through much prayer, many tears and hearts fighting regret, they were off to school this morning. We are so thankful to find a school with a Christian based education, wonderful teachers and very close to home. Please continue to pray that these precious little ones will see God's hand of grace on their lives throughout all this change going on.

As another Monday comes around, I find my heart full of thanks to a God who is faithful in all the little things in life. My list continues....

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Thanksgiving with family

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Our Fourth Church family (who is very missed)

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A new school

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Brave children

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A quiet house

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Decorated Christmas tree

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God's amazing grace

Our Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to remember all that God has blessed us with. A time to remember what His grace did for us. And because of His incredible grace, we were blessed indeed this Thanksgiving. Michael's family came in from Maryland and spent 6 days with us. We had very full days with lots of joy and laughter, good food and great company. Here are a few highlights of our incredible week....

Our first day, we went to the park...

Family....

Trying on hats in Old Town...

The tram to Sandia Peak...

The view from the top...

Kathleen, Grace, Kathryn & myself

The city lights...

Mountain top dinner...

Rudy's BBQ baby....

An evening Santa Fe stoll...

Relaxing at the St. Francis...

Kathryn loving her daddy....

A gift from Grand-Sheri....

Thankful:1000 Gifts

"Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift."

2 Corinthians 9:15

With a full and refreshed heart, my list continues.....

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My family

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My precious girl full of wonder

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My son's perfect smile

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Chocolate covered mouth

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That precious face

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Pure joy

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Love only for the trains outside his window

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. AND BE THANKFUL."

Colossians 3:15

Still

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and grow weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:29-31

I was talking with someone close to me today and she was very tired. I too am very tired. Since when does does a home become a battlefield? Yet, that is what it seems like these days. I am asking God for grace to get through the morning, then for grace to get through the afternoon....you can almost feel the cosmic warfare going on in the house. Children fighting, always fighting. Fighting not to do school, then fighting to watch TV, fighting with siblings, fighting to get their way. It's exhausting. And the children are exhausted too. As I was talking with my friend, all I could think to say sounded so cliche, but it was so true. "I have been there, and it's ok." I think I was telling myself that same thing as I was saying it. I have been exponentially more tired than what I feel right now, and I made it through. God's grace was sufficient for me then, and His grace will be sufficient for me now.

The most difficult thing for me to do when I feel this cosmic warfare is to be still. I like to fight! But, God asks us to "be still, and know that I am God." With so many responsibilities, how in the world are we to do this, and I know my friend would be weary just hearing me say this to her! But, I think maybe it's not just an action, but a state of being. Finding stillness in the midst of the chaos. Making our minds stop thinking all of our own thoughts, and instead filling our minds with His word, praying at all times. And, knowing that in our weaknesses, His strength is made perfect. I want His strength...mine can't get me through my day. Being still has changed my life, and I am so quick to forget all that God has done in me. Lord, I want to remember to be still, "cause that's when my heart, learns to dance to with you."

Still

The more I get alone

The more I see I need to get alone more, more

'Cause just when I think that I'm alone

Your Spirit calls out to me

And even silence has a song

'Cause that's when you come

Sing over me

Still, let me be still

Let me be OK

With the quiet in my heart

Still, I want to be still

I'm so quick to move

Instead of listening to you

Shut my mouth

Crush my pride

Give me the tears

Of a broken life

Still

Oh this world, it falls around me

and flutters all its beauty in my eyes

But let me choose the solitude

Simplicity has always simple changed my life

'Cause even stillness makes me move

'Cause that's when my heart

Learns to dance with you

Still, let me be still

Let me be OK

With the quiet in my heart

Still, I want to be still

I'm so quick to move

Instead of listening to you

I'm your child

Tame my heart

Obedience

To me impart

Still

~Watermark

Hodgepodge of Things: 1000 Gifts

0007 Stillness

0008 Friends who help make things pretty

0009 Music

0010 Mountains that look like they've been sprinkled with powdered sugar

0011 Brother & Nephew

0012 Gracie girl

0013 Early mornings