Happy 5th Birthday Gracie Girl!!

Five years ago today, Grace came into our lives. She brought much joy into our home with her constant laughing and dancing. We love you Gracie girl!

In Life & In Death:1000 Gifts

Death's ugly face is showing itself again in the O'Halloran family. This time, our sister-in-law's mama's body is racked with cancer and is threatening to take her. I think of my precious nephew and nieces and how they may lose two grandparents within a year. I think of my sister-in-law at her bedside caring for her and my mother-in-law, still in the throws of grief herself, giving her time, energy and wisdom to her beloved daughter-in-law and her family. I know God can heal, and He is powerful to do this. But, I also know that He has ordained ALL our days before the beginning of time and He knows just what will happen in the coming days. My heart is heavy. I sat down today to update my gifts list, and all that is on my heart and my mind is this? One thing that is keeping my fingers typing is the fact that I don't have to be thankful for sickness, but I can be thankful that there is a God who loves and cares and holds us up when we have no strength to hold up on our own. I can be thankful that there is a God who has good plans for us and knows each and every heartbreak we will ever face. So....hunting for more beauty in the ugly, my list continues....


Gifts #132-#143

my little girl ALWAYS singing & dancing
my husband-for all the ways he is patient with me
hands to do the laundry
car to take the kids to school
old friends and long catch up sessions over the phone
a thank you from my boy after I put his clothes away
sounds of the dice rolling on the parcheesi board
kids laughing and getting along over spring break
seeing a dear friend on TV--her own commercial? really?!
waking up with energy
text messaging and keeping in contact with loved ones hurting
a faithful GOD

My Valentine:1000 Gifts

Who would have guessed at 19, I could have possibly chosen this amazing man and taken this crazy, wild, wonderful ride. I was a child when I married you, and you were ever so patient with your new bride. The first years were filled with incredible love and lots of kinks that needed to be worked out, and you were a man after God's heart and loved me that way. Always the last to raise his voice, the last to say the unkind words, the first to say sorry. I have been more than blessed to be your wife and love you more now than ever. After three years, you blessed me with our Kathryn on this day, and as I sit here and look at her, I am so grateful you asked me to be your wife. Our journey has taken us away from family, away from all that is comfortable, but with you I feel safe and warm and welcome, and I know God has a plan to take this little family and make something great for His glory. I am ready to hang on and continue this ride for as long as He will allow. So...today as my list continues, I remember all the graces that God has given me.....


Gifts # 114-#131:

breath
mountatins
Fresh baked banana bread
Reservations made for a weekend away
Watching the tram climb the mountain from my kitchen window
Extending family back home-praying for grace in the midst of great struggle
24 hours away with my love
A clean house
Superbowl parties
Friends
Robitussin
Slow Days
Tea
A busy 4 year old
Party planning
Early morning guitar practice
Red Bull !!!!!
Thanks, Grace, Joy: The triple threat to my melancholy
My husband

The Ugly Beautiful:1000 Gifts

Life is short. Too short. It seems I have been learning about this for some time now, and God hasn't let me forget. I am grateful for this. Gratitude is something I am learning. Learning to think about all the little gifts that God has given me and to savor each one of them. It has taken me 34 years to discover that life is not about me and what I can do to make things better, it's all about what God has done to make MY life better. The book I can't put down, has been nailing this down for me. Ann writes, "...I hear it well: the only thing to rip out the tape echoing of self-rejection is the song of His serenade. One thousand gifts tuned me to the beat. It really is like C.S. Lewis argued: that the most fundamental thing is not how we think of God but rather what God things of us: 'How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important'. Years of Christian discipleship, Bible study, churchgoing had been about me thinking about God; practicing eucharisteo was the very first time I had really considered at length what God thought of me-this ridiculous and relentlessly pursuing love, so bold. Everywhere, everything, Love!"

Her challenge is this: to begin a list of 1000 gifts of grace in your life. One thousand ways He has loved us. Even in the ugly. And even in giving thanks (eucharisteo) for the ugly, they start becoming beautiful. The dishes in the sink, the dog hair-gifts from God. We HAVE dishes, my children HAVE a dog. What joy this has brought, what peace in knowing that all of life is grace. Every breath, every step is grace. I cannot demand anything in this life, all is grace. All is a gift. She writes later, "Purgation was the first step toward full life in God, according to ancients. Awakened to the chasm separating from God, one prays for divine assistance to purge the soul of self-will. And for me too, eucharisteo had gently slowed me down, opened my hand to purge me of my hold, my control, on the world. With each gift I had accepted and given thanks for, I let go of my own will and accepted His. But my purgation, this releasing of sin and self, wasn't an act of will or effort, but the act of CHRIST and His grace all-sufficient. Overwhelming grace grew me to the Christ full of glory that I might empty of the self." Oh to let go and be grateful. This is changing so much in me. It's the beginnings of a life full of gratitude towards a God to as The Jesus Storybook Bible states has a "Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love" towards me.

I have begun this challenge, will you? Write 1000 gifts of grace, and then keep it going. Everyday. Give thanks for the wonder of this ugly beautiful life.

Below is a link to a video. Ann reads about this book and the challenge. Watch it and remember all the ways God has graced you today. (You will need to turn off the music player at the bottom)






Searching for the beautiful in the ugly, my list continues:

106: Kathryn: for all the ways she is growing up

107: medals after hard work

108: the breath of fresh air that is Angel

109: road trips with my girls

110: American Girls

111: a son that runs into my arms when I walk in the door

112: dishes in the sink

113: the laundry room always in motion

Christmas Cookies:Gracie

Lately, all that has been on my mind is all the missed opportunities with my family; all the times I should have and could have spent time and said "yes" while I was cleaning or stressing. So, when Gracie asked to make cookies with just me, I said yes!







With a happy heart, she helped clean up to.

This was sent to me by a dear family member and the words have ministered this morning.....


commit now all your griefs
and ways into His hands;
to His sure truth and tender care,
who earth and heav’n commands.
who points the clouds their course,
whom winds and seas obey,
He shall direct your wand’ring feet,
He shall prepare your way.

give to the winds your fears;
hope, and be undismayed;
God hears your sighs, and counts your tears,
God shall lift up your head.
through waves and clouds and storms
He gently clears your way;
wait for in His time, so shall the night
soon end in joyous day.

still heavy is your heart?
still sink your spirits down?
cast off the weight, let fear depart,
and every care be gone.
He everywhere has sway,
and all things serve His might;
His every act pure blessing is,
His path unsullied light.

far, far above your thought
His counsel shall appear,
when fully He the work has wrought
that caused your needless fear.
leave to His sovereign sway
to choose and to command;
with wonder filled, you then shall own
how wise, how strong His hand!

_p. gerhardt, j. wesley

Dropping My Anchor:1000 Gifts

This post has been hard to start. Words cannot express the deep, deep sadness we feel now. Although sadness is felt, we know that Tom is with his Savior now rejoicing and saying "See...it's all true! It's real! Wait until you see this!"

Recently I read "Choosing to See: A Journey of Struggle and Hope" written by Mary Beth Chapman. In the book, she recounts her life leading up to the tragic death of her daughter. I read this before we lost Tom, and what I can't help but remember is the way they responded in faith. And it wasn't that they felt such strong faith, it was that they believed in the promises of God and that they declared their faith in the midst of their pain. The song that has been ministering to me lately is Faithful by Steven Curtis Chapman. In it he says this, "I will proclaim it to the world. I WILL DECLARE IT TO MY HEART, and sing it when the sun is shining. I will scream it in the dark. YOU ARE FAITHFUL! YOU ARE FAITHFUL! When you give and when you take away, even then still Your name is Faithful!....I've dropped my anchor in your promises and I am holding on, cause you ARE FAITHFUL." This is our faith. We don't feel strong, but we will declare God's promises to our hearts. And those promises are that we WILL see Tom again, that Tom IS alive and well, and although we miss him here, he is LIVING life with Christ.

One of the things God calls us to do is to be thankful in ALL circumstances (1 Thess. 5:18) and that is what I am going to do right now! Dropping my anchor in Jesus, my gratitude list continues....




0096 Tom-You were the BEST father in law a girl could ask for. You gave unconditionally and without regret. I love you and can't wait to see you again!

0097 lighting the fire in the fireplace, Mikey says, "Mama, let me help, PopPop taught me this...." as he blows on the fire to make it bigger






0098 balloons in the sky

0099 dinners brought in the pick up line

0100 facebook messages of love and care



0101 being with Grandma



0102 decorating Grandma's tree



0103 Tom's grandkids--they gave such honor to their PopPop

0104 a dear friend who took pictures

0105 HOPE

"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?'" John 11:25,26