Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Stillness

God's Word says to "Be Still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) These words have haunted me over the past few years. I think I am just beginning to grasp their meaning. He says following this that He will be exalted in the earth. So, why do I strive? We have just returned from a very special time with our family back east. Both Michael and I wondered how we would feel going back after just a few months away. A flood of emotions came as we drove from Reagan National. Washington DC is a beautiful city, especially covered in winter's snow. Driving through Potomac and seeing all our old haunts made me thoughtful. How much we have missed our life here, our friends, our family. We had such a precious time with all of them. Our kids were encouraged by spending time with their friends, and in the many late nights filled with laughter with their cousins. That encouraged my soul. Not much sleep, but much joy! And, in the blackness of the late nights, Michael and I would ask each other how we felt coming back. Did we do the right thing? Do we miss being here? I think in the stress of moving and trying to unpack and get kids settled, I had lost some of the vision of why we moved. I started to question everything, and I know Michael felt the same.

To live in the DC area means to be in a constant state of movement! It means, for us, losing sight of family and faith. Schedules, schedules, schedules. Work, work, work. God had been doing a quiet work in our hearts for many years. Preparing us for something we knew was eminent. Moving away from the rat race. God had surly blessed the work of Michael's hands and blessed us with an abundance of family, but our own little family was struggling to hold on. Not to mention, Michael's God given dreams were being forgotten. All of these things though, in God's amazing grace, were tools for us. We had learned so much, enough at this point to be able to make the decision to move. And God is still blessing us. Our family unit is strong. Michael is happy doing what God had created him to do. And, I feel still and quiet, a feeling I was afraid of for so long and now I cherish. Life is good, as the slogan says. We are living in the will of God. We don't know how God will work the rest out, but for this moment, we are at peace. I thank God for His words, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." All this life is for His glory, for Him to be exalted.